February 2024

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the idea of “arrival fallacy” (popularized by Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar) - essentially the idea that once you finally get to X, then everything will be better. I’ve been trapped by this fallacy throughout my life.

Once I get to college, then I can socialize and have fun.

Once I become a doctor, then I’ll make a ton of money and be happy.

Once I get that job, then I’ll be successful.

I have always fallen for this line of thinking. When I was growing up I was so laser focused on becoming a doctor, that I put off all forms of enjoyment and happiness and rest with the flawed thinking that I can appreciate all those “luxuries” later in life.

As I started my career, I constantly was “looking up the ladder” and thinking “once I become a consultant, then people will respect me” or “once I get the higher salary, then I’ll be happy.”

I’ve been doing a better job recently catching myself when I fall into this line of thinking. It’s easy to recognize the moments where the fallacy arises, but harder to shift your mindset into actively appreciating the journey and path you are on. I am working to fundamentally remove my mental anchor away from the endpoint and instead slow down and focus on the here and now.

In conclusion, arrival fallacy is a seductive trap, one that promises happiness and fulfillment at the end of a rainbow that perpetually shifts further away. My journey, marked by constant striving for the next milestone, taught me that true contentment doesn't reside in a distant, idealized future, but in the richness of the present moment. Embracing this philosophy doesn't mean abandoning ambition or ceasing to set goals. Rather, it's about redefining success, not as a destination to be reached, but as a path to be walked with awareness and gratitude.